Sunday, January 29, 2006


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl rite n styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

( Warning: Don’t take this story very seriously, as an enthusiast for BOTH the English and the German language I just had to laugh with all that. Thanks to the distinguished journalist
Ms Polymeridou in Athens, who e-mailed me the story…)


At 3:00 AM, Blogger Alex said...

hey jannis,

this story will make my day. haha very funny!! it remains me of my english teacher, who had a bad english articulation. :)

english is the world language and germans have to accept that!


At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

excellent excellent piece.. at one point i thought you would turn it into French..hahahahaha.. very good stuff
from an Indian journalist
Jacob Cherian

At 11:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is really funny and the way you wrote your article is extremely well.


At 2:09 AM, Blogger Hieu Nguyễn said...

i hav red zis sumwer and i think it kan be a praktical idea!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home